So I let Go but I didn’t let God like I was supposed to.  After all I had been through I , I had some trust issues. not only with man, but with God too.  I had been struggling with having another child for sometime now. After vowing not to ever have another child, I realized that I was being selfish on my part. I wanted to give my husband a child. If I said I prayed about it I would be lying. I felt like God owed me something. So I “put God to the test” I got pregnant and just hoped everything would be okay. God surely couldn’t let anything happen again. haven’t I been through enough???I learned yet another life lesson.  This time when things didn’t turn out like I wanted them to ,I didn’t get mad at God, I didn’t turn to man. I knew I was wrong for so called putting him to a test. I asked  why, but I already knew that answer. I had to learn to trustt him.  God does not have to be tested. we should trust and believe that he can do ALL things. God doesn’t  owe us a thing. He already sacrificed his ONLY  SON  for us that we may have EVERLASTING LIFE!  how dare I challenge him. I am so very lucky that he is a forgiving and merciful God. cuz I had some major repenting to do. Yes I wuz upset that the outcome of my pregnancy was that my son was still born, but I just look at it as heaven is a little sweeter because of my son Wellington Caleb,(AKA Caleb) and Cheriya Gabriel.  I believe they were sent here on assignment and they fulfilled their duty and  went to be with there heavenly father. Yes I was devastated that I had loss another child. But I was determined to have a child and conquer my fear of what may happen. No matter what the doctors said.  (They were skeptical because of some medical issues that I don’t claim to have any more cause I claim healing in the name of Jesus!)I had to totally put my trust in God and know with out a shadow of doubt God can do ALL things. With him noting is impossible…….. That’s easier said than done. I confessed this but it was still a battle.  satan would throw thoughts in my head. but I knew in my heart that I would win this war.There were some things I wanted to do in life but was scared to. But I had to do it ……… so I did it ……scared.